Letting Go

 

 When I first saw my peonies, they had gone by. I was relieved.   The dead wilted petals littering the garden floor suited my mood perfectly.  I wanted to post a sign on my front yard "NO Gardening Going On Here." 

Removing weeds, digging up volunteers and frowning over the state of things is my usual summertime MO in the garden.   The wrinkles on my forehead are not self-imposed. They are the result of doctor's orders:  no bending, no lifting, no twisting.  In the gardening world, that doesn't leave much to do.  I walked around quietly assessing the situation.  I saw tasks that needed to be done, but my hands were tied.

"Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities."  Dalai Lama

When you've got plenty of OCD to contend with; letting go doesn't come easy.  I've hired a Dutchman to take care of my garden until my physical situation improves.  And his approach to gardening is particularly European.  It's more relaxed, more in sync with plants and their habits and is concentrated on the whole, not the minutiae.  This is a kind of therapy for me.   And therapy is work.  My greatest challenge will be changing the way I experience the garden:  bystander, critic and student of Zen.

 "letting go is letting happiness in." Lori Deschene